Bye Bye Mexican Girl

Settle Down…

I am going to bitch for a while, as today I am quite cranky. So yesterday (Sunday the 9th of December) this Mexican girl I have been seeing (read: screwing) off and on for some time calls me to tell me she wants to come over, however she doesn’t have the gas to come see me. (she’s a poor college student). I have been playing hunting guide all weekend for some upscale clients, so I was dead tired and wore the heck out, suffering from a moderate hang over, and I didn’t feel like getting up from the sofa I had just laid down on so as o watch my aviary like a TV. She started making cute little noises and saying please really sweet so I hop my happy ass up, get dressed again, and head to the next town over so I can fill up her gas tank and we can see each other for a few minutes. Its freaking cold outside, but the truck hadn’t even cooled down yet, I had only been home about 15 minutes or so. (being single I strip first thing when I come home.) I get over to the dorms, and call her, get her car put $35 worth of gas in it, and then we head to her dorm room where her fat white annoying roommate is watching TV and channel surfing after the person on TV says about 5 words. This is already annoying me. Its getting late in the evening so I lay down on the bed and start to snooze a little and the annoying fat white chick is saying “keep it PG” and shit. Gee, I bet our snuggling was the most action she had seen outside the internet. Keeping things PG isn’t possible when you factor in my penis. So little Mexican girl is playing with my crotch under the blankets while I doze happily, a nice way to snuggle I say. Then all the sudden she pops off with the following comment: “I want you to make me jealous, I haven’t ever been jealous before and I want to know what I would do if I get jealous”. The music stopped, was I just given free reign to hit on random women in front of my supposed girlfriend? This needed more clarification so I stated “well there are some girls at work (the nylons) that hit on me on a regular basis.” This didn’t quite satisfy her, as she retorted with “Oh I know you’re too good of a guy to cheat on me, and that’s what’s making this boring, you wouldn’t ever cheat that’s just not like you, so how are you supposed to make me jealous?” What the fuck over? So now I’m too good of a person to cheat? Or is she saying I’m not attractive enough that any other woman would want me? This defiantly needed some more clarification. Time for Super Asshole Sarge to come out and test her limits of relationship endurance. “Ok woman, look here I don’t screw around, I don’t cheat I don’t even look at other women because I am happy with you.” That was a last ditch effort to avoid the train wreck I saw coming. She rolled her eyes, stopped playing with me privates and said “but that’s boring, how come you don’t?”
Ok, lets stop there for a moment, and realize that until that point I was half asleep and not caring about the conversation much as she was fondling me. When she stopped was when I finally woke up fully and got slightly peeved. I had only had about 4 hours of sleep due to my hunting guide experiences the days prior. Me and Mexican Girl’s relationship has been kind of strange and off and on for over a year. I was pretty fed up with life in general at this point. So in true Sarge style I told her off.
“Listen little girl, if I wanted any lip from you I’d scrape it off my zipper, I don’t WANT to make you jealous but hey, you don’t want a GOOD relationship now do you? You want a typical old world Mexico relationship where the man fucks 3-4 other women on the side. Has this sorta thing been bred into you? You know I’m successful and decently good looking I could walk out that door right now and find a pretty little white girl that wouldn’t give me half the trouble you do, but nooo, I chose you. You are making me regret this choice, now I’m going home, you can go back to your laundry I’ll talk to you later.”
Just so you know kind reader, your not beginning this story in the middle, only in the end, there is much you do not know. Assume what you must, and fill in the blanks using your imagination.
So I left, drove my happy ass back home, went back to the sofa to watch my aviary, and doze off for a while, I dreamed about all the stupid random strange bullshit that Mexican Girl has put me through and I decided that it was probably going to make my life a hell of a lot easier (and less expensive) if I where to just cut it off with her for good. Later that night she called me to tell me she was going out with her friends, and I told her it was over, that I was not going to see her again, that I didn’t need the twilight zone emotional element, and drama associated with our relationship. I also deleted her phone number from my palm treo thingy, and all her contact information was removed from my house. The bad thing is that I don’t even KNOW her phone number, never bothered to memories it, it was always just in my phone. Bye bye Mexican Girl.
This is why I am cranky today; I think I am suffering from Sperm Retention Syndrome.


Thanks,
Sarge.